So, Lucifer told me I had to sit my ass down and write some crap about myself for the archive or some shit. Not exactly the first thing I want to be doing with my life since I just got out the equivalent of prison.
Yep, you heard right. Prison. Or, more accurately, The Pit, as dark and ominous as it sounds. What did I do to deserve such an honor? I disobeyed my father, Hades. I guess I should really get to the point and introduce myself. I am Greed. No, my Father did not have a lapse in nomenclature. I am THE Greed, as in one of the Seven Deadly Sins, a/k/a Avarice. Once, long ago, I answered to Mammon, but five hundred years being ripped apart like a Thanksgiving turkey will pretty much rob you of any sense of self.
Well, my sentence is now over, and here I am, back in the world and typing on this thing called a computer. Least that’s what Wrath calls it. I don’t see the fascination. The fucking buttons are too small, and the screen keeps breaking when I hit it. Too damn fragile if you ask me. He threatened me with bodily harm if I broke this one. He can try. There’s nothing he can do to me that hasn’t already been done a million times in a million ways before.
But I digress. Where was I? Oh, yes. Greed. I am the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. Mortals now live in what is quite possibly the most pampered, consumerist, spoiled society since the Roman Empire, yet they crave more. This place is like my candy. They make it so easy, I almost feel sorry for them.
So the job of The Seven Deadly Sins is to hunt those mortals who have become so sickened by their Sin that they infect others and become a Blight upon the world. Lucifer, Sin of Pride, has been reminding me non-stop since my release, as if I could forget. Not like it wasn’t fucking torn into me for five centuries.
So there. Done. Not much else to say.
I suppose I will add for the record, they should have just left me in the darkness. I hate this place–too much noise, too many people, not enough silence. I don’t know how the humans deal with it. They must all be numb from the brain down. This world gives me a headache. I am already thinking of ways I can disobey Father again, just so he will send me back to the Pit. Back to the only place that makes sense.
Yeah, I’m that fucked in the head.