Envy – Ze

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So, I guess it is my turn. Pleasure to introduce myself. I am Beelzebub, Sin of Envy. But please, call me Ze. I can’t stand that God-awful biblical name, Beelzebub. I mean give me a freaking break. Did they just pick letters out a hat and throw them in the air or something? “Guess what guys? I got a name for the Envy Sin!” Fuckers.

Look, it wasn’t like I wanted to be named after an overactive bumblebee with a complex, but frankly, after a thousand years I expected more. Mortals invented the Devil. Did they have to call him Lucifer, Satan and Beelzebub? Getting associated with my brothers is one thing. I mean, really! Do I look anything like Lucifer or Satanus? Just look at me! I happen to be the best looking of all my siblings! I feel quite insulted.

I am also proud to be the ladies’ man. Although Abbadon, Sin of Sloth, will argue that fact–if he can ever get his ass off the couch long enough to fight me over it. To be honest, I have to be the best. I can’t let Abbadon beat me to the women on a Saturday night. My Sin would eat me alive. You see, Envy is a living thing inside all intelligent creatures, even the lesser animals.

It’s not like I see green or anything, but I feel the insane urge to rip into the person that has what I want, be it a trinket, a house, or a woman. After the endless years of my life, it should have been tempered within me. But alas, the Sin of Envy still writhes under my skin, gnawing at my will.

For mortals, however, it is pretty much a downward descent into hatred, darkness, and despair. The problem with envy is how easily it slips into a man’s soul and darkens his heart. Malicious envy is similar to jealousy, in that they both feel discontent towards another’s traits, status or abilities.. The difference is that the envious can also desire a person and covet them to the point of madness, not good dating material!

You know, they say only Pride weighs down the soul more than Envy. I guess that’s why I’m the second in command of the Seven Sins. Hell, too much responsibility for me. I need to stay away from that temptation. Too much of a draw for the green-eyed monster. So how do I fight it? Any way I can. Women, sex, drinking, sex, sex. Yeah, that usually works. I find the more I can distract myself with trivial pleasures, the less Envy eats away at my soul.

But remember what I said: Envy is a silent Sin. It buries itself deeply inside you, slowly creating darkness within, gradually turning you against the people you care about. Hades forbid that ever happens to me.

Buuuut…on a lighter note! I did install a virus on this lovely machine of Tanus’s, Sin of Wrath. He is up next to write his page for the archive. He is going to find wonderful puppies and kittens frolicking across the screen every time he tries to type. I am so YouTubing his reaction!

Hey! Parting note. It’s not worth it. Whatever it is someone else has that you crave.

There will always be someone out there with more than you.


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